The right place at the right time.
Is it an excuse for our failures or a true reason we never got our chance to shine? Were we really just not in the right place at the right time, or were we just not really very good at what we were doing?
Take music for an example.
I’ve known so many musicians that I thought were great. I thought they had all the necessary talent and ambition to make a name for themselves. My friend Shannon has a magical voice, writes compelling and excellent songs, has gigged incessantly for the last decade, and has a nicely marketable appearance. My only conclusion is that either I overestimate his talent (which I don’t think I do) or I have to conclude that he was never in the right place at the right time for the right people to hear him and buy into what he’s doing.
Or maybe it’s just the plight of the music industry and the only way to make it now is to find your audience on your own.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I am 33 years old these days. For some of you that sounds nice and young and I have my whole life ahead of me. Some of you are ready to issue me a walker.
I had imagined so many things to have accomplished prior to 33 and very few of them have happened. I can blame the “bills to pay” and I can blame the circumstances. I can say I was just never in the right place at the right time.
But maybe it’s more personal than that.
Maybe the problem is that I have lacked the courage to really pursue a better, more meaningful life. Maybe I continue and continue because I’m too lazy to really try something different.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
As it stands, I have a day job that somehow became a career. Unfortunately this seems to be the only thing I have succeeded at over the last 10 years. I have a band that hasn’t played a show in a year and can’t seem to finish it’s CD. I have a novel that is half completed and growing at approximately 1 page every 4 months.
I have been wondering lately if it is too late to start over. All these bills to pay and what not make it feel very hard to do so, but I just don’t know about going through another decade of this.
I still haven’t found any rich relatives that I can count on dying any time soon. Or any time at all. Apparently I have no rich relatives.
Too bad.
Courage friends. Let’s see what new dreams we can come up with to help us get through the dreary perpetual now.
My latest carrot on a stick is becoming a College Professor.
But it’s a really long stick.
And a really expensive carrot.
And so on.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Are you ready for the Crash?
So I’ve been thinking lately about what it would be like if everything just crashed. I am not referring to some Post Apocalyptic situation where 80% of the population is wiped out by a Super Flu or a Nuclear War. Nothing like that is on my mind. Not entirely anyway. Let’s just say that some unforeseen event occurs which completely wipes out our computer systems worldwide. Everything crashes. Almost everything is handled via computer these days so this would be the biggest worldwide catastrophe since Noah was counting Aardvarks. So everything has broken down. Money is worthless since almost all of it was tied up electronically somewhere and there are no more records. No one can prove who owned what. Electricity is likely out too due to all the power plant failures and explosions following “the event.” How soon running water / indoor plumbing? I think humanity would go primitive pretty fast. The digital world is over and we don’t remember how Analog even works.
So we’re back to basics. The thing I wonder about is this. How would I fare in that kind of world?
I like to think that I possess a certain modicum of survival skills. By this I mean that I know how to set up a tent and apply sunscreen. I’ve seen the Swiss Family Robinson and Castaway. I once fired a pistol and hit a target. I read Lord of the Flies. But how far is that really gonna take me?
I do not think I am a convincing barterer and would probably get ripped off trying to trade for a cow. And really, how much of what I own would really have trade value in that world? And what would I do with the cow anyway? I don’t know how to change that into hamburgers. I suppose I could figure it out.
I certainly couldn’t market my skills learned in the workplace. Insurance will no longer be a hot topic when picking world leaders. For that matter there wouldn’t likely be world leaders, at least not at first. Everything would probably regionalize.
I realize the likelihood of a worldwide computer crash is unlikely. At least until they try to terrify our descendants with talk of Y3K. Start stocking up on water now. It’s much more likely that we’ll just continue to head in two different directions as humans. There will be those who have the technological skills and exposure and those who don’t. Those who do will continue to further isolate themselves with each generation and find ways to manipulate and utilize those who don’t.
Bring on the Morlocks.
But I digress.
My basic question was regarding my potential for survival and maintaining my family’s survival in a post-computer crashed world.
I think I’d make it in the end, assuming I don’t end up being shot defending my books from becoming firewood. Someone has to preserve Kurt Vonnegut for a future without Kindles.
You are welcome Mr. Vonnegut. Rest well.
Blessings.
So we’re back to basics. The thing I wonder about is this. How would I fare in that kind of world?
I like to think that I possess a certain modicum of survival skills. By this I mean that I know how to set up a tent and apply sunscreen. I’ve seen the Swiss Family Robinson and Castaway. I once fired a pistol and hit a target. I read Lord of the Flies. But how far is that really gonna take me?
I do not think I am a convincing barterer and would probably get ripped off trying to trade for a cow. And really, how much of what I own would really have trade value in that world? And what would I do with the cow anyway? I don’t know how to change that into hamburgers. I suppose I could figure it out.
I certainly couldn’t market my skills learned in the workplace. Insurance will no longer be a hot topic when picking world leaders. For that matter there wouldn’t likely be world leaders, at least not at first. Everything would probably regionalize.
I realize the likelihood of a worldwide computer crash is unlikely. At least until they try to terrify our descendants with talk of Y3K. Start stocking up on water now. It’s much more likely that we’ll just continue to head in two different directions as humans. There will be those who have the technological skills and exposure and those who don’t. Those who do will continue to further isolate themselves with each generation and find ways to manipulate and utilize those who don’t.
Bring on the Morlocks.
But I digress.
My basic question was regarding my potential for survival and maintaining my family’s survival in a post-computer crashed world.
I think I’d make it in the end, assuming I don’t end up being shot defending my books from becoming firewood. Someone has to preserve Kurt Vonnegut for a future without Kindles.
You are welcome Mr. Vonnegut. Rest well.
Blessings.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Dust off the moon
Can someone help me with something? Why don’t we go to the moon anymore? When you think about the mass technological advances in the last 50 years, you would think it would be a lot easier now to send someone there and land than it was on those earlier missions. I’m not a big conspiracy theorist, but it makes you wonder about all those rumors that we never landed there in the first place and that all of that footage was faked. I’m pretty sure the issue isn’t financial, considering all the other things we blow our money on. I’m also pretty sure it’s not because of the bad Transformers who live on the moon, but again, I can’t be sure. I know we don’t have to beat those Ruskies into submission anymore, but surely there’s another Sputnik out there to freak out the establishment isn’t there?
So what’s the story here? It’s been a really long time now since a lunar landing. Aren’t we supposed to have colonized the moon by now? Isn’t that what the boomers had planned for us? If nothing else, aren’t we supposed to use it as a landfill for our 80’s big mac containers?
Just something I was wondering about and hoped one my 3 faithful readers might have some insight on the death of the space race.
Blessings
So what’s the story here? It’s been a really long time now since a lunar landing. Aren’t we supposed to have colonized the moon by now? Isn’t that what the boomers had planned for us? If nothing else, aren’t we supposed to use it as a landfill for our 80’s big mac containers?
Just something I was wondering about and hoped one my 3 faithful readers might have some insight on the death of the space race.
Blessings
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Well Rounded Failure
So in retrospect, I think I have been soundly defeated by my interest in too many things.
I have always been rather well rounded in my interests. In literature I enjoy everything from Charles Dickens to Stephen King. From American classics to comic books. In music I roll with DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince and switch seamlessly to Wilco. From Damien Rice to They Might Be Giants. I love most things in the art world and also cheer wholeheartedly for my local sports teams. I love to watch Audrey Hepburn classics and modern Zombie movies. I play in rock bands and work at an insurance company. I love Bruce Campbell and still try to take myself seriously. I am topically conversant on a wide variety of things, but have no interest in making small talk. I play a variety of instruments, draw fairly well, enjoy writing, listen to sports radio and recently planted a vegetable garden.
I am all over the place, and I think that has been my problem.
I think my interest in so many different things has crippled my potential for success in any one particular area. I will never be a first rate musician, largely because of my inability to commit to any one instrument for an extended period of time. The grass is always greener, and all of that. I am an expert on no particular subject because I’m always moving on to the next shiny subject to catch my mind. I never could commit to a definitive, realistic career path because there are just too many dreams to follow, and in the end I have a job I have no real connection too other than financial, while never fully pursuing any of the many careers I would be interested in. It seems that by the time we know who we are it’s a little too late to do very much about it.
So far the only thing I’ve been particularly successful in is being married, which is one of those things you kind of have to commit to and can’t really be well rounded. Sorry ladies.
So... Just some thoughts. It could be that all my failures are simply because I’m not as smart or talented as I think I am. After all, we are all the stars of our own TV shows, and I’m sure I am no exception to this rule other than the fact that I like starring in your TV shows as well. But I do think there might be something to this idea. Einstein might have been slower with that whole relativity thing if he was busily monitoring who the Browns were taking in the 5th round of the draft this year or was laughing his tail off over Shaun of the Dead.
Not that I’m comparing myself to Einstein, although I do find science very interesting.
Math too.
Oh! And Literature!
And don’t forget History, Geology, and Theology.
I like them all.
A whole lot.
Blessings.
I have always been rather well rounded in my interests. In literature I enjoy everything from Charles Dickens to Stephen King. From American classics to comic books. In music I roll with DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince and switch seamlessly to Wilco. From Damien Rice to They Might Be Giants. I love most things in the art world and also cheer wholeheartedly for my local sports teams. I love to watch Audrey Hepburn classics and modern Zombie movies. I play in rock bands and work at an insurance company. I love Bruce Campbell and still try to take myself seriously. I am topically conversant on a wide variety of things, but have no interest in making small talk. I play a variety of instruments, draw fairly well, enjoy writing, listen to sports radio and recently planted a vegetable garden.
I am all over the place, and I think that has been my problem.
I think my interest in so many different things has crippled my potential for success in any one particular area. I will never be a first rate musician, largely because of my inability to commit to any one instrument for an extended period of time. The grass is always greener, and all of that. I am an expert on no particular subject because I’m always moving on to the next shiny subject to catch my mind. I never could commit to a definitive, realistic career path because there are just too many dreams to follow, and in the end I have a job I have no real connection too other than financial, while never fully pursuing any of the many careers I would be interested in. It seems that by the time we know who we are it’s a little too late to do very much about it.
So far the only thing I’ve been particularly successful in is being married, which is one of those things you kind of have to commit to and can’t really be well rounded. Sorry ladies.
So... Just some thoughts. It could be that all my failures are simply because I’m not as smart or talented as I think I am. After all, we are all the stars of our own TV shows, and I’m sure I am no exception to this rule other than the fact that I like starring in your TV shows as well. But I do think there might be something to this idea. Einstein might have been slower with that whole relativity thing if he was busily monitoring who the Browns were taking in the 5th round of the draft this year or was laughing his tail off over Shaun of the Dead.
Not that I’m comparing myself to Einstein, although I do find science very interesting.
Math too.
Oh! And Literature!
And don’t forget History, Geology, and Theology.
I like them all.
A whole lot.
Blessings.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
What's up with my mouth?
Getting older is a strange and mysterious thing. I’m forever fascinated (and at times appalled) by the changes that occur with each passing year. The last 12 months have been exceptional in regards to one specific change.
My mouth.
More specifically, my tastes. Below is a list of things that I used to absolutely abhor, and now enjoy immensely. These aren’t items I was indifferent to and now just enjoy. These are things I despised with everything in my capacity for despisement. I didn’t graduate to indifference either. I graduated to great levels of enjoyment when these things are available. So be encouraged O picky eaters of the world. Try something new and you might be surprised.
#1. Alcohol
In my 2010 physical, I was told to start drinking wine to assist with some cholesterol issues. At the time I could not have disliked the taste of alcohol more. At the present date, I could not possibly like the taste of alcohol more. On a side note, I am wholeheartedly opposed to drunkenness and do not overindulge in my enjoyment. There was a period of adjustment and developing a taste for alcohol. Now I enjoy a glass or two of Red every night. Cheers. Apothic Red is the current #1.
#2. Onions
I’m still not throwing down on a raw onion like I would an apple, but I’m finding myself putting onions in all kinds of food and no longer removing them from my burger. The onion was once number one on my enemy vegetable list. Now the onion is welcome to visit any time. It is especially enjoyable in food of the Mexican variety.
#3. Coffee
I hated coffee. Absolutely hated it. I’m not up to black yet, but throw in some cream and sugar and I’m ready for the all nighter. I even learned how to use the coffee maker.
#4. Yogurt
I always found the very idea of yogurt repulsive. I treated it as the leper of the dairy community (which it really kind of is). I am far from all in on yogurt and so far I am only eating one particular brand of yogurt (Stonyfield Greek Organic Peach or Cherry), but I now open to the concept. I’m no Michael Westin, but I do eat about one yogurt per day these days.
Blessings.
My mouth.
More specifically, my tastes. Below is a list of things that I used to absolutely abhor, and now enjoy immensely. These aren’t items I was indifferent to and now just enjoy. These are things I despised with everything in my capacity for despisement. I didn’t graduate to indifference either. I graduated to great levels of enjoyment when these things are available. So be encouraged O picky eaters of the world. Try something new and you might be surprised.
#1. Alcohol
In my 2010 physical, I was told to start drinking wine to assist with some cholesterol issues. At the time I could not have disliked the taste of alcohol more. At the present date, I could not possibly like the taste of alcohol more. On a side note, I am wholeheartedly opposed to drunkenness and do not overindulge in my enjoyment. There was a period of adjustment and developing a taste for alcohol. Now I enjoy a glass or two of Red every night. Cheers. Apothic Red is the current #1.
#2. Onions
I’m still not throwing down on a raw onion like I would an apple, but I’m finding myself putting onions in all kinds of food and no longer removing them from my burger. The onion was once number one on my enemy vegetable list. Now the onion is welcome to visit any time. It is especially enjoyable in food of the Mexican variety.
#3. Coffee
I hated coffee. Absolutely hated it. I’m not up to black yet, but throw in some cream and sugar and I’m ready for the all nighter. I even learned how to use the coffee maker.
#4. Yogurt
I always found the very idea of yogurt repulsive. I treated it as the leper of the dairy community (which it really kind of is). I am far from all in on yogurt and so far I am only eating one particular brand of yogurt (Stonyfield Greek Organic Peach or Cherry), but I now open to the concept. I’m no Michael Westin, but I do eat about one yogurt per day these days.
Blessings.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Time Travel
So I’ve been thinking about time travel an awful lot lately. It seems to me that time travel would be a very useful and dangerous ability to have.
It would certainly be wonderful to go back and tell the 16 year old me to do a few things differently. Of course I probably wouldn’t have listened to me anyway though, since I wouldn’t be telling myself anything I hadn’t already heard from a bunch of old people like me. Also there is that whole butterfly / trees falling down thing. The little changes made in time travel could drastically alter the present (future)and that could be bad. Or possibly good, but who could know for sure? Better to be on the safe side of not destroying the space time continuum. (Thanks Dr. Brown)
I think, more than time travel though, I am interested in the idea of a full knowledge intact do over. Meaning that I could know everything I know now and would have the opportunity to go back and re-do everything from a set age on. Probably from about 15 or 16 years old and going forward since most of my terrible decisions occurred between 15 and 22. There are so many things I would do differently. Assuming this mulligan were possible, it leaves me with two major questions.
1. Would doing things differently result in me ending up in a less desirable position than I am currently in?
What I mean by this is that there are certain parts of my current life I wouldn’t want to change. Would making better decisions along the way end up leading me into a place where it is impossible to still have the things I want? Ideally I would still end up with the things I like about my current life and would only make decisions that would change the parts I don’t like. Would that be possible though? I wonder if our bad choices are such an integral part of the path and if removing them would mean a different destination would be unavoidable. Could I make better relationship decisions as a teenager and still end up with my wife? I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe it’s too risky.
2. Would some of my full knowledge be erased as I went through and did things differently?
By this I mean that if I chose to not do something because of knowing what would happen, would I then lose all memory of it ever happening since it now never happened?
This is a confusing question and I’m not sure how to clarify. It’s like this. Let’s say I murdered someone in my past. Hypothetically of course.
Of course.
I would be going back and making changes to not repeat my mistakes and so I decide on my do-over to not murder that person (even though they deserved it). When that time passes and I don’t go homicidal, do I then forget it ever happened since it never happened? Then, losing the memory of why I didn’t want it to happen, would I then just decide to commit the same action all over again since I have no memory of the reasons why I wished I didn’t do it? It’s all very confusing.
Overall I still think it would be desirable to get to go back and re-live life knowing everything I know now, but since it’s so hard to make good decisions now, knowing everything I do, I don’t know why I think it would be easy to go back and make better decisions then, factoring all the angstiness of the teenage years. Those chemicals certainly conspire against us.
I guess it’s more important to just live in the now and make good decisions going forward. But I can’t help but wonder, what if....
What if....
Blessings
It would certainly be wonderful to go back and tell the 16 year old me to do a few things differently. Of course I probably wouldn’t have listened to me anyway though, since I wouldn’t be telling myself anything I hadn’t already heard from a bunch of old people like me. Also there is that whole butterfly / trees falling down thing. The little changes made in time travel could drastically alter the present (future)and that could be bad. Or possibly good, but who could know for sure? Better to be on the safe side of not destroying the space time continuum. (Thanks Dr. Brown)
I think, more than time travel though, I am interested in the idea of a full knowledge intact do over. Meaning that I could know everything I know now and would have the opportunity to go back and re-do everything from a set age on. Probably from about 15 or 16 years old and going forward since most of my terrible decisions occurred between 15 and 22. There are so many things I would do differently. Assuming this mulligan were possible, it leaves me with two major questions.
1. Would doing things differently result in me ending up in a less desirable position than I am currently in?
What I mean by this is that there are certain parts of my current life I wouldn’t want to change. Would making better decisions along the way end up leading me into a place where it is impossible to still have the things I want? Ideally I would still end up with the things I like about my current life and would only make decisions that would change the parts I don’t like. Would that be possible though? I wonder if our bad choices are such an integral part of the path and if removing them would mean a different destination would be unavoidable. Could I make better relationship decisions as a teenager and still end up with my wife? I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe it’s too risky.
2. Would some of my full knowledge be erased as I went through and did things differently?
By this I mean that if I chose to not do something because of knowing what would happen, would I then lose all memory of it ever happening since it now never happened?
This is a confusing question and I’m not sure how to clarify. It’s like this. Let’s say I murdered someone in my past. Hypothetically of course.
Of course.
I would be going back and making changes to not repeat my mistakes and so I decide on my do-over to not murder that person (even though they deserved it). When that time passes and I don’t go homicidal, do I then forget it ever happened since it never happened? Then, losing the memory of why I didn’t want it to happen, would I then just decide to commit the same action all over again since I have no memory of the reasons why I wished I didn’t do it? It’s all very confusing.
Overall I still think it would be desirable to get to go back and re-live life knowing everything I know now, but since it’s so hard to make good decisions now, knowing everything I do, I don’t know why I think it would be easy to go back and make better decisions then, factoring all the angstiness of the teenage years. Those chemicals certainly conspire against us.
I guess it’s more important to just live in the now and make good decisions going forward. But I can’t help but wonder, what if....
What if....
Blessings
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Who needs people anyway?
It seems to me that almost everything new these days is designed to keep us from actually interacting with other humans in person. Every new bit of technology makes it more convenient to just stay away from any kind of interpersonal interactions.
At the rate we are going, I think we are less than a decade away from near total isolation.
We can shop from home for everything but groceries, and some people even do that. We text so that we don’t even have to move up to the intimacy of a phone call (meant to be ironic). We can download our music and our books so that we don’t have to go to the store to purchase them. It’s all digital. Who needs actual friends when you can have so many Facebook friends with no more responsibility than to occasionally “like” the things they type?
And that’s not all.
We’ve got MySpace, Twitter, Tumblr, and who knows how many other social networks. Most companies are now offering more flexibility to work remotely, so we can certainly cut back on our interactions there and most of our business is conducted via email now anyway. Why go to the concert when you can just watch them live on youtube? Gotta avoid those crowds after all. It seems that pretty soon the only people interacting in person will be homeless people.
I’m not a nut. Not entirely.
I’m not a believer that our computers will eat us (although they probably will) and I don’t think we’ll end up in a “Surrogates” type of situation (though I believe most people would go for it). I am concerned though about where we are headed as humans.
Combine the technology with the fear of letting your children leave your sight, and the next generation coming up is only interacting during school hours for the most part. And do we really need to have school in person? Those teachers cost a lot of money. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just do a computer based (video style) educational system? Kids can just learn at home with no parental responsibility to do the teaching.
Texas is safe from complete isolation because our West Texas towns would go vigilante on the world if they didn’t have their Friday night football games.
Just some thoughts. Thought I’d post them on here. More convenient than sharing in person. Eh?
At the rate we are going, I think we are less than a decade away from near total isolation.
We can shop from home for everything but groceries, and some people even do that. We text so that we don’t even have to move up to the intimacy of a phone call (meant to be ironic). We can download our music and our books so that we don’t have to go to the store to purchase them. It’s all digital. Who needs actual friends when you can have so many Facebook friends with no more responsibility than to occasionally “like” the things they type?
And that’s not all.
We’ve got MySpace, Twitter, Tumblr, and who knows how many other social networks. Most companies are now offering more flexibility to work remotely, so we can certainly cut back on our interactions there and most of our business is conducted via email now anyway. Why go to the concert when you can just watch them live on youtube? Gotta avoid those crowds after all. It seems that pretty soon the only people interacting in person will be homeless people.
I’m not a nut. Not entirely.
I’m not a believer that our computers will eat us (although they probably will) and I don’t think we’ll end up in a “Surrogates” type of situation (though I believe most people would go for it). I am concerned though about where we are headed as humans.
Combine the technology with the fear of letting your children leave your sight, and the next generation coming up is only interacting during school hours for the most part. And do we really need to have school in person? Those teachers cost a lot of money. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just do a computer based (video style) educational system? Kids can just learn at home with no parental responsibility to do the teaching.
Texas is safe from complete isolation because our West Texas towns would go vigilante on the world if they didn’t have their Friday night football games.
Just some thoughts. Thought I’d post them on here. More convenient than sharing in person. Eh?
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