Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Downfall of Musical Integrity

Well, I almost managed to already blow my resolution to post at least one blog per month. Thank goodness for Leap Day!

So, in February I more or less dismissed whatever shreds of musical integrity I still had. Here’s how it happened…

It all started in late 2011, at a work related dinner. After a long day of meetings in Chicago, the members of my team went out to dinner with our Vice President. Two incidents occurred during the course of dinner which led to the demise of the aforementioned integrity.

1. One of my peers made a joke (too long and convoluted to explain here) that culminated with her making up a fictional band name. The name of the band was Red Headed Tuesday.

2. Somehow the topic of Bisected Uvula’s came up in the conversation during dinner. Even now, I have difficulty remembering how this particular topic managed to make its way into the discussion, but once there it could hardly be ignored. (Important side note – a Uvula is the little hanging deal in the back of your mouth. Not something else.)

Somehow, these two incidents magically combined (which is again far too convoluted to try to explain) in such a way where the final joke (which you will have to trust me was extraordinarily funny at the time) was that “Bisected Uvula” was a love song written by the band Red Headed Tuesday.

And then I had an idea.

I went back to my hotel room that night and wrote the song “Bisected Uvula.” Incidentally, I was watching Point Break on the hotel TV at the time. My multi-tasking capabilities are unparalleled. I was deeply amused by my song, and decided I wanted to share that amusement with my VP, since she was had been equally amused during the dinner conversation.

One thing led to another, and then to another, and then in February I somehow convinced two friends to help me record the song under the band name Red Headed Tuesday. They engineered and mixed the whole thing, so I suppose their musical integrity might take a hit as well. Over the course of 4 evenings, I recorded all the instruments and vocals and ended up with a final version to share with my VP.

The song is completely ridiculous. I’ve spent the last 20 years dreaming of impacting other people’s lives by writing insightful, meaningful lyrics and putting out quality music. Instead, all that hard work has led me down a path that dead ended into “Bisected Uvula.”

But it’s too late to turn back now. I already sent the MP3 to my VP, who then played it in our leadership meeting. Complete with a power point of the lyrics. I’m pretty famous now.

So for the 5 amazingly brilliant people who read my blog with any regularity, I hope you find this truly entertaining. My integrity (as if I really still had any to lose considering I once recorded a song titled “Death Star Love Song”) is in flames, but at least my heart was never in the right place.

You can listen to and download (for free) “Bisected Uvula” by Red Headed Tuesday by clicking right here

And here is a visual journey through the process.



  1. And when all is said and done...this is the song they'll play at your funeral one day.

  2. Jeff. You are confirming all my worst fears.