*Please note – this is an edited/updated version of a post from 2010. If you are one of the 1.5 people who read the original post, I salute you*
It’s time for another chapter in the world of “something you might not have known about....” Today’s subject is..... Cubicles!
What is a cubicle?
“Cubicle” is a common name used to describe a small desk area generally enclosed on three sides by waist-ish high walls and having no ceiling. Generally speaking, many of these cubicles are arranged in rows and share common walls, allowing many desks to be put in one work area without having to either allow space between the desks or having to build actual walls, which can be costly. The cubicle walls help give the illusion that each desk is it’s own tiny little office as well as helping to provide a place to hang your calendar. Calendars are important in cubicles because without them it is entirely impossible to distinguish one day from the next. The origin of the name “cubicle” comes from the squarish shape the walls make and due to the feeling that one is stuck inside a cube with little to no oxygen available.
How to Recognize a Cubicle should you happen to find yourself in what you think might be a cubicle, but you are not sure:
1) Look to your left.
2) Look to your right.
3) Look in front of you.
4) Look behind you.
5) Look up.
6) Look down.
If in the process of following the above directions you identified a wall you can see over, another wall you can see over, another wall you can see over, an opening with no wall at all, open space with a ceiling higher up, and a floor, then it is very possible you are sitting or standing in a cubicle. Don’t panic! There are millions of people in the same position and all are relatively safe the majority of the time.
Do cubicles affect the space time continuum in any way?
Actually, yes they do. It is scientifically provable (opinions will vary amongst scientist as all things scientifically provable will vary amongst scientists) that time actually slows down within the walls of a cubicle. It is not certain why this phenomenon occurs, but it does indeed occur. This phenomenon has two radical effects.
1) A day spent in a cubicle is drastically longer than a day spent elsewhere, which can lead to chronic depression and a sense that one’s life is slipping away from them.
2) A person’s life actually slips away from them. A person will age must faster inside a cubicle than will someone outside a cubicle since the person inside will continue to age at the same rate of those outside the cubicle while actually spending more daytime hours alive inside the cubicle due to changes in rate of time. This can be very confusing, but is scientifically verifiable (opinions will vary amongst scientist as all things scientifically verifiable will vary amongst scientists).
Cubicles are real and exist in many buildings in many cities in many countries on this fair planet. Should you encounter one, proceed with caution and make sure you are familiar with the dangers they present before you enter one. And always remember, it’s much easier to walk into a cubicle than it is to walk out.