What it was that MC Hammer was trying to say.

I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.

In spite of the level of exertion I deliver, which results in a high level of perspiration on my part, I will not surrender. I will exert even more effort. Yes. More effort will be exerted than ever before due to the dreams which I have been collecting in my brain. I have foreseen that I will acquire those things which will eventually be mine and that there are no people alive who will take those things away from me. No. This is because I, the Hammer, do not play games when I believe it is possible that you will be trying to get those aforementioned things that I will and, in some cases, already have acquired. I am talking specifically to young male children. I am requesting that you retreat several steps and then stop moving. I want to compel you to believe that you do not want to become engaged in an altercation with me. I have had to move very fast in order to achieve the degree of physical muscularity which I am displaying. You, on the other hand look as though you do not work out very frequently. In fact son, you look very weak indeed. I am working hard to get everything that I can possibly get. I like to stand up in high places and kick things because I am much to legitimate to stop.

I am requesting that you sing.
I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.

When the time comes and you feeling like a tall post or a pole, I do not think you should play basketball in my vicinity because I might dig a hole with a shovel and then randomly smack you around. Indeed, it is a foregone conclusion that I will retaliate and engage in fisticuffs with you while injecting you with a drug I like to call “Oak Town Power.” When you become hooked on this drug I will charge you an hourly wage to continue utilizing it. This thought gets me so excited that I am shaking like there is an earthquake going on or like I am listening to funk music. I am making an intentional choice to abuse, misuse, and confuse those people I compete with. These competitors think they are making up the rules by which we will play, but I think you should know that these people are fools. In the game they were trying to make up the rules for, people ended up both wounded and driven completely insane. It really is a shame, but I really do have to do this. Throughout the game I remain unchanged. Well, not really unchanged. I just keep getting better. I have never been known to wear sweaters. I am once again kicking things while standing in high places. I do this because I have everything collected together in one place. I am inviting you to all lay down and roll on the ground with me. You should do this because I am a very physical person who has an extraordinarily good physique. You should also do this because I wear a watch. All of these things combined show that I am much to legitimate to stop.

I am requesting that you sing.
I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.

I am requesting that you march in a straight line to the rhythm I am providing to you. I am considered to be someone who is guaranteed to win things since I have been in this place on previous occasions. Hark. I am not a beginner where these things are concerned. It is true that at one point I was a beginner but I have since tried many things and found them to be true. I believe in what Darwin said and I will survive due to my higher fitness level. Hark. This knowledge has brought me through many a hard time. Those people I spend time with have been known to talk on occasion. According to them we are ready to hit those things we have been trained to hit. This is our purpose. I believe that you should believe all of these things and that this belief should cause mass quantities of perspiration on your part. The sweat will be something you are ashamed of later. You will regret the day that you disregarded me and my close friends. You will rue the day that you ever made our acquaintance. Have I mentioned that I like to read? You remind me of a short story I once read. It was really short. You put out a hit record, but it was only one record and you are really starting to disinterest me. You should prepare yourself because this is probably the end for you. Those people you spend time with are about to have to stop. My friends, however, will not have to stop due to our extreme legitimacy.

I am requesting that you sing.
I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.

I think you should either get money or get naked. It could go either way.

Those people I like to spend time with are winners. We compress people who are strong and percolate people who are not so strong. We do this on a daily basis. A day doesn’t go by that we do not work very hard to improve our dance moves. We do this because we like to be in charge where dancing is concerned. We like to be in charge of where we rest, where we work, and where we play. Hark. In the beginning, we were down at the bottom of the social structure, but now we are in front of everyone else. Yes! Yes! I am afraid that I am having seizures. These cause me to kick things. You know me. I’ve already mentioned that I like to kick things while in high places. I am still far too legitimate to stop doing so, in spite of the seizures.

I am requesting that you sing.
I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.

We are so legitimate that we are rolling on the ground while he’s on top. We are going to burn something till it ceases to exist due to our legitimacy and our inability to stop.

We are just much too Legitimate to ever give up.