I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.
In spite of the level of exertion I deliver, which results in a high level of perspiration on my part, I will not surrender. I will exert even more effort. Yes. More effort will be exerted than ever before due to the dreams which I have been collecting in my brain. I have foreseen that I will acquire those things which will eventually be mine and that there are no people alive who will take those things away from me. No. This is because I, the Hammer, do not play games when I believe it is possible that you will be trying to get those aforementioned things that I will and, in some cases, already have acquired. I am talking specifically to young male children. I am requesting that you retreat several steps and then stop moving. I want to compel you to believe that you do not want to become engaged in an altercation with me. I have had to move very fast in order to achieve the degree of physical muscularity which I am displaying. You, on the other hand look as though you do not work out very frequently. In fact son, you look very weak indeed. I am working hard to get everything that I can possibly get. I like to stand up in high places and kick things because I am much to legitimate to stop.
I am requesting that you sing.
I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.
When the time comes and you feeling like a tall post or a pole, I do not think you should play basketball in my vicinity because I might dig a hole with a shovel and then randomly smack you around. Indeed, it is a foregone conclusion that I will retaliate and engage in fisticuffs with you while injecting you with a drug I like to call “Oak Town Power.” When you become hooked on this drug I will charge you an hourly wage to continue utilizing it. This thought gets me so excited that I am shaking like there is an earthquake going on or like I am listening to funk music. I am making an intentional choice to abuse, misuse, and confuse those people I compete with. These competitors think they are making up the rules by which we will play, but I think you should know that these people are fools. In the game they were trying to make up the rules for, people ended up both wounded and driven completely insane. It really is a shame, but I really do have to do this. Throughout the game I remain unchanged. Well, not really unchanged. I just keep getting better. I have never been known to wear sweaters. I am once again kicking things while standing in high places. I do this because I have everything collected together in one place. I am inviting you to all lay down and roll on the ground with me. You should do this because I am a very physical person who has an extraordinarily good physique. You should also do this because I wear a watch. All of these things combined show that I am much to legitimate to stop.
I am requesting that you sing.
I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.
I am requesting that you march in a straight line to the rhythm I am providing to you. I am considered to be someone who is guaranteed to win things since I have been in this place on previous occasions. Hark. I am not a beginner where these things are concerned. It is true that at one point I was a beginner but I have since tried many things and found them to be true. I believe in what Darwin said and I will survive due to my higher fitness level. Hark. This knowledge has brought me through many a hard time. Those people I spend time with have been known to talk on occasion. According to them we are ready to hit those things we have been trained to hit. This is our purpose. I believe that you should believe all of these things and that this belief should cause mass quantities of perspiration on your part. The sweat will be something you are ashamed of later. You will regret the day that you disregarded me and my close friends. You will rue the day that you ever made our acquaintance. Have I mentioned that I like to read? You remind me of a short story I once read. It was really short. You put out a hit record, but it was only one record and you are really starting to disinterest me. You should prepare yourself because this is probably the end for you. Those people you spend time with are about to have to stop. My friends, however, will not have to stop due to our extreme legitimacy.
I am requesting that you sing.
I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.
I think you should either get money or get naked. It could go either way.
Those people I like to spend time with are winners. We compress people who are strong and percolate people who are not so strong. We do this on a daily basis. A day doesn’t go by that we do not work very hard to improve our dance moves. We do this because we like to be in charge where dancing is concerned. We like to be in charge of where we rest, where we work, and where we play. Hark. In the beginning, we were down at the bottom of the social structure, but now we are in front of everyone else. Yes! Yes! I am afraid that I am having seizures. These cause me to kick things. You know me. I’ve already mentioned that I like to kick things while in high places. I am still far too legitimate to stop doing so, in spite of the seizures.
I am requesting that you sing.
I am complying with the agreed upon rules. In fact, I am far too much in compliance with the standard rules and/or laws to stop what I am doing.
I am not one born out of wedlock. I am the genuine, legitimate offspring and thus will continue to do what I am currently doing.
I am quite legal. I am so legal that I am in no danger of being forced to surrender any time soon.
We are so legitimate that we are rolling on the ground while he’s on top. We are going to burn something till it ceases to exist due to our legitimacy and our inability to stop.
We are just much too Legitimate to ever give up.
Showing posts with label Excuse me stewardess I speak jive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Excuse me stewardess I speak jive. Show all posts
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
What it was that Vanilla Ice was trying to say.
Pardon me those of you who are very important, let’s get started.
Please stop for a moment and listen to what I have to say. I have returned to you and I come bearing something new which I have invented. I find myself in the grip of something, resulting in my flowing in the manner of a harpoon. This occurs both during the day and at night time. I have speculated long on whether or not this will ever stop. At this point I am undecided, but if you turn off the lights, you will find that I glow in the dark. I have been known to take a microphone and speak into it forcefully. I sometimes then steal the microphone. I do this in the most extreme manner possible. I have already mentioned that I glow in the dark, but I wanted to make it clear that I can also do this standing on a platform while encasing a person in wax. I am requesting that you please dance. Don’t stay in the back. Please come forward and dance near these very loud speakers, though it will possibly cause severe brain damage, similar to what can be caused by certain poisonous toadstools. Indeed, it is very dangerous, deadly even, when I begin to sing in a narcotic fashion through these speakers. I believe in presenting the best things I have to offer and believe that those who do not do so should be incarcerated. Whether or not you love what I am saying or have negative feelings about it, you need to step out of the way and aim very carefully. If you miss the bull’s eye you will find that children will no longer be able to play any more. If it turns out that there is a problem, and I’m not saying that there is, then I believe I can provide a solution. Please just pay close attention to these repeating words that my disc jockey is playing on the record player.
Ice Ice Baby
Too Cold
Vanilla
At the present time, this party is an exciting place to be. We have changed the settings on the equalizer so that the low end audio is very pronounced. It is causing our Vega speakers to vibrate profoundly. Allow me to get to the point quickly and without trying to fool you. I have taken many masters of ceremony and cooked them on my stove as if they were just so much bacon. I like to burn the ones that are slow and not particularly agile. In fact I go temporarily insane when I hear the sound of a cymbal. Particularly the hi-hat cymbal played at a frenetic pace makes me want to keep going and leave everyone else behind. When this happens I drive my Five Cylinder convertible with the top down so that my hair can blow in the wind. There are girls waiting for me who wave their hands when I drive along the road. They do this so that they can say hello to me. You might wonder if I stopped the vehicle when they waved. I did not. I drove by them in search of the next place that I would stop. I turned left and drove down to the next block. I didn’t see very many things happening when I got there, so I started driving again until I came to A1A Beachfront Avenue. The girls at this location must have been very overheated. I am making this assumption because they wore very little clothing. I also noticed a lot or people were driving Lamborghinis. I believe that those people are envious of me because of all of the things I have received. Due to the dangerous nature of this area, my friend Shay, who is my aforementioned disc jockey, is carrying a shotgun. I have a nine millimeter handgun. The two of us are prepared in case some of the people on the wall begin to act strangely due to their heavy drug use. The next thing I knew I was deafened by loud gunshots. I held on to my handgun and heard the spent casings from several bullets falling on the pavement in rapid succession. I jumped back into my car and accelerated quickly, but soon was stuck in heavy traffic. The street was completely full of vehicles, which prevented me from getting away before something could be done to me that I would have done to someone else. The next thing I knew, the police were everywhere. Do you understand what I’m trying to say to you? Before I could be concerned though, they chose to not regard me as a threat and instead focused their attention on those drug abusers I previously mentioned. Once again I would like to clarify that in the event of a problem I will find a solution. While that sinks in, please pay close attention to the same repeating words that Shay is playing for you now that he has put down his shotgun in favor of a record player.
Ice Ice Baby
Too Cold
Vanilla
Please continue to pay careful attention and give credence to what I am saying to you. I compose rhyming words with the intention of setting them to music. The city of Miami is a fine, central location for others who also do this. Is this something you were aware of? I would like for you to be aware of it. I am from Miami. This is where the low end audio sound comes from. In Miami there are holes in the ground due to the volume at which we play low end audio. This is because the way I make music is just like Chemicals spilling onto the ground. My rhymes are very realistic and create images in your head so real that you can feel them. When those images are formed, I think this is one very interesting idea. We promote this idea and ask that you join in step with us. My disc jockey Shay likes to adjust the individual volumes of different instruments by adjusting the faders on a mixing board. When he does this, it is almost as if a ninja were cutting things with a sword or a razor blade so quickly that it causes other disc jockeys to vociferate profanely. My rhymes are so good and valuable that if they were narcotics I would sell them in very small doses to achieve the maximum financial impact. I never lose my composure even at those times when it is appropriate to loosen up a bit. I find that my mouth reacts to a microphone is if it were made of metal and the microphone were a magnet. This happens at the same time that I kick the juice cartons I own. You might see this as a problem, but I don’t. There are no problems. But if there were a problem, I would solve it. As always, please listen to this message while Shay plays it on a record player.
Ice Ice Baby
Too Cold
Vanilla
Dear Listener.
I am going to leave now.
Please give my regards to your mother.
Please stop for a moment and listen to what I have to say. I have returned to you and I come bearing something new which I have invented. I find myself in the grip of something, resulting in my flowing in the manner of a harpoon. This occurs both during the day and at night time. I have speculated long on whether or not this will ever stop. At this point I am undecided, but if you turn off the lights, you will find that I glow in the dark. I have been known to take a microphone and speak into it forcefully. I sometimes then steal the microphone. I do this in the most extreme manner possible. I have already mentioned that I glow in the dark, but I wanted to make it clear that I can also do this standing on a platform while encasing a person in wax. I am requesting that you please dance. Don’t stay in the back. Please come forward and dance near these very loud speakers, though it will possibly cause severe brain damage, similar to what can be caused by certain poisonous toadstools. Indeed, it is very dangerous, deadly even, when I begin to sing in a narcotic fashion through these speakers. I believe in presenting the best things I have to offer and believe that those who do not do so should be incarcerated. Whether or not you love what I am saying or have negative feelings about it, you need to step out of the way and aim very carefully. If you miss the bull’s eye you will find that children will no longer be able to play any more. If it turns out that there is a problem, and I’m not saying that there is, then I believe I can provide a solution. Please just pay close attention to these repeating words that my disc jockey is playing on the record player.
Ice Ice Baby
Too Cold
Vanilla
At the present time, this party is an exciting place to be. We have changed the settings on the equalizer so that the low end audio is very pronounced. It is causing our Vega speakers to vibrate profoundly. Allow me to get to the point quickly and without trying to fool you. I have taken many masters of ceremony and cooked them on my stove as if they were just so much bacon. I like to burn the ones that are slow and not particularly agile. In fact I go temporarily insane when I hear the sound of a cymbal. Particularly the hi-hat cymbal played at a frenetic pace makes me want to keep going and leave everyone else behind. When this happens I drive my Five Cylinder convertible with the top down so that my hair can blow in the wind. There are girls waiting for me who wave their hands when I drive along the road. They do this so that they can say hello to me. You might wonder if I stopped the vehicle when they waved. I did not. I drove by them in search of the next place that I would stop. I turned left and drove down to the next block. I didn’t see very many things happening when I got there, so I started driving again until I came to A1A Beachfront Avenue. The girls at this location must have been very overheated. I am making this assumption because they wore very little clothing. I also noticed a lot or people were driving Lamborghinis. I believe that those people are envious of me because of all of the things I have received. Due to the dangerous nature of this area, my friend Shay, who is my aforementioned disc jockey, is carrying a shotgun. I have a nine millimeter handgun. The two of us are prepared in case some of the people on the wall begin to act strangely due to their heavy drug use. The next thing I knew I was deafened by loud gunshots. I held on to my handgun and heard the spent casings from several bullets falling on the pavement in rapid succession. I jumped back into my car and accelerated quickly, but soon was stuck in heavy traffic. The street was completely full of vehicles, which prevented me from getting away before something could be done to me that I would have done to someone else. The next thing I knew, the police were everywhere. Do you understand what I’m trying to say to you? Before I could be concerned though, they chose to not regard me as a threat and instead focused their attention on those drug abusers I previously mentioned. Once again I would like to clarify that in the event of a problem I will find a solution. While that sinks in, please pay close attention to the same repeating words that Shay is playing for you now that he has put down his shotgun in favor of a record player.
Ice Ice Baby
Too Cold
Vanilla
Please continue to pay careful attention and give credence to what I am saying to you. I compose rhyming words with the intention of setting them to music. The city of Miami is a fine, central location for others who also do this. Is this something you were aware of? I would like for you to be aware of it. I am from Miami. This is where the low end audio sound comes from. In Miami there are holes in the ground due to the volume at which we play low end audio. This is because the way I make music is just like Chemicals spilling onto the ground. My rhymes are very realistic and create images in your head so real that you can feel them. When those images are formed, I think this is one very interesting idea. We promote this idea and ask that you join in step with us. My disc jockey Shay likes to adjust the individual volumes of different instruments by adjusting the faders on a mixing board. When he does this, it is almost as if a ninja were cutting things with a sword or a razor blade so quickly that it causes other disc jockeys to vociferate profanely. My rhymes are so good and valuable that if they were narcotics I would sell them in very small doses to achieve the maximum financial impact. I never lose my composure even at those times when it is appropriate to loosen up a bit. I find that my mouth reacts to a microphone is if it were made of metal and the microphone were a magnet. This happens at the same time that I kick the juice cartons I own. You might see this as a problem, but I don’t. There are no problems. But if there were a problem, I would solve it. As always, please listen to this message while Shay plays it on a record player.
Ice Ice Baby
Too Cold
Vanilla
Dear Listener.
I am going to leave now.
Please give my regards to your mother.
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