Friday, March 12, 2010

Supermarket Quiz

Okay. I have a series of supermarket related questions for you to answer. Give me your honest answer on each one and I'll give you my honest opinion on your worthiness to remain a part of the human race.

1) In relationship to the '20 items or less' line, I...
a. never use the line unless I truly have 20 items or less.
b. sometimes use the line, even if I'm slightly over.
c. say forget you! I'm shopping for my super bowl party and I'm using whatever line I want!

2) In relationship to the item I put in my basket but later decide I don't need after all, I...
a. always return the item to the exact spot I got it from.
b. sometimes return it to the area, or at least the same region of the store.
c. who cares! I'm putting these ice cream sandwiches in with the chili!

3) In relationship to returning the shopping cart to the designated cart return, I...
a. always return it to the cart return, regardless of any circumstances.
b. sometimes return it if it's close by and not raining.
c. look for the closest nice looking car and just shove it in that general direction.


  1. 1 -- Always A. I can't stand when people abuse this line!!

    2 -- Depends. Normally I'm too lazy to go back so I just buy it anyways!

    3 -- Our HEB has very few cart returns so most people are in the habit of just leaving the carts where ever, which I will admit I do fall into this category. I use to be very good at returning until I got to this HEB...

  2. Hmm.. That's a tough one. Not quite subhuman or troll level misbehavior. I think you can remain part of the human race for now, but I think you need to make some modifications to your cart related behavior.

  3. 1. Usually am able to abide this one. Usually. If I'm over a bit I'll just kindly ask permission of the clerk and glance around to see if someone looks displeased.

    2. Rarely will put it back where it goes if I've wandered too far away. I'd put frozen goods back in the freezer, milk in the milk-case, etc.. Certainly not going to leave an item in a place where it will become unsalable.

    3. Always return to cart return. The carts will clog up parking spaces or bump into others' cars. Alternatively, I have parked carts against lightpoles, say, on a slight grade where they can't roll away - if it's zero degrees or colder, I might do this.

  4. Well Todd. That's a tricky evaluation. You are clearly in a lower level of humanity than Velma, but your guilty conscious and sense of wrong doing keeps you above the troll / apeman level. I think you can continue to be a part of the human race, but should consider no longer continuing in this wayward path. It's a slippery slope, my friend and you are wearing socks along the edges.

  5. 1. A. The exception to this is if I'm at a poorly managed store and there is no one there, and there are only two regular lanes open that both have long lines and there are 14 self-check express lanes open with no one in them. Then I'll use the express lane. It's the managers fault. Fire him. That is the only time I break this rule. I HATE it when people use the express lane when there are people waiting in line for it.

    2. A. Always put it back where it came from. Or Buy it.

    3. A. Always return the cart to the proper place. People who violate this law of nature should have their cars pummeled by shopping carts until they resemble golf balls. There is no excuse whatsoever for ever violating this law. Ever.

    I know I sound like a saint, but I want to add here that whenever possible, I intentionally park in the spots reserved for parents with children. (Not pregnant lady parking, I get that. The other ones.) Even if there is a closer regular spot, I'll still park in the reserved spots. It's a matter of principle. Those things are complete bullroar. Having children is a choice, not a handicap. Walk like the rest of us.

  6. Nathan, you have the highest human rating to date. No points lost for your parking note since I've never even seen a spot designated for people with children. I guess they don't have those around my locale. Plus, with how many obese children are out there, they should probably walk a little further anyway. As long as you don't park in the handicapped spots, you're okay by me!
    I rate you at saint level humanity!

  7. I think the spots for people with children are intended for people with young kids -- like when they are babies its such a pain to take them anywhere because of the carseat that you take in and out of the car and then juggling the cart and groceries... Our spots for parents are always next to the cart drop off. Makes it easy when you are leaving to drop off the cart when you have kids... of course mine are bigger now so I don't use those spaces any more...sigh, bigger kids...

  8. Weird. We don't have those parking spots in the Metroplex.

    Perhaps I need to add a question to the quiz.

  9. Drew - you do have these parking spaces in the metroplex. It's not at every store, but they are around. Ikea has an entire section of their parking lot on the side of the building reserved for families. I always park there even though I don't have kids. I am part of a family dangit!

    In regards to your quiz.

    1. A. I am very stringent on following the rules. Sometimes I want to say "Forget you and all your corporate rules" but I digress. I count my items and get in my appropriate line. I don't like stern looks...(I never got my name on the board in school either).

    2. I analyze my purchases before putting them in my cart and can't remember the last time I put something back.

    3. Always always return the cart. My favorite is when someone is walking into the store as you are just finished loading your car and you are able to pass the cart along. They think you are kind and courteous, but really you're just glad you don't have to find a cart return.

  10. Well done Jennifer!

    I just thought of the worst crime of all at the grocery store.

    Just park your flipping car and walk before I ram you!