Monday, June 27, 2011

Top 10 Super Heroes of All Time

It is time for another list to edify and enlighten. Lists are a good way to keep a blog going when you really have absolutely nothing in particular to say. Or perhaps you’re just too dang busy. Today I am going to share the top 10 greatest Super Heroes of all time. This is not my opinion. These are in fact the 10 greatest of all time. It’s a scientifically verifiable fact.

Parameters: The person has to be a "Good Guy" at least the majority of the time to qualify since this is not the list of the 10 greatest Super Villains of all time. Also this is only for individual characters and not for teams.

10. Kitty Pryde
She walks through walls and has a pet dragon. Granted, she is not all that well known outside of the fans of the X-Men, but is a favorite of both mine and the scientists who verified this list. You probably think Iron Man should be in this spot due to the success of his recent films. But other than those movies, who really cares about Iron Man? Certainly not the aforementioned Scientists who, in all fairness, could be jealous that Tony Stark won’t share his Iron Man Technology Secrets.

9. The Incredible Hulk
You just can’t deny the Hulk his place in history. Special thanks to Lou Ferrigno for bringing Hulk to the common people. Secondary thanks to R. L. Stevenson for setting the original Jekyll / Hyde template. Bottom Line: Hulk Smash.

8. Captain America
The Star Spangled Avenger is returning to the big screen, and will presumably fare much better than the simply dreadful 1990 film. Worst Super Hero Movie Ever. Hands down. It’s even worse than the Dolph Lundgen Punisher movie, and that is saying a lot. The captain is a surprisingly mult-dimensional character and his longevity is hard to question. The new film and then the Avengers film to follow are certainly helping to revitalize interest. Not one of my personal favorites, but who am I to argue with science.

7. Firestar
Who? Only one of the greatest superheroes of all time, that’s who! I first saw Firestar in the cartoon “Spider Man and His Amazing Friends,” which ran for several years in the early 80’s. She and Iceman were the Amazing Friends. She was then re-popularized throughout the 90’s as a member of the New Warriors and then the Avengers. She was both extremely powerful and afraid of using her powers. You may think she is out of place on a list of heroes that transcended comic books and cartoons, but she is indeed one of the 10 greatest.

6. Wonder Woman
What’s not to like? She has an invisible jet. And a lasso that makes you tell the truth. And bullet proof bracelets. And a Tiara. All of these things are pretty neat, but that is only the beginning. She also had a killer theme song for the 70’s TV series. "In her satin tights, fighting for your rights, and the old red white and blue!" Sing it with me now! Wonder Woman is an icon. I know the new TV series apparently was going to be terrible and has been cancelled before it got off the ground, but that doesn’t take anything away from her overall greatness.

5. Wolverine
SNIKT!

4. Superman
Has any other Superhero been more celebrated on TV and in films (with the possible exception of #3 on the list)? All the Reeve movies and the recent Routh one. Lois and Clark. Smallville. Despite having such generic powers and kind of a lame outfit, the Man of Steel has proven staying power and continues to draw interest. His Death brought new fans from around the world. His not staying dead was less cool and left most comic fans feeling cheated. The different TV shows helped personalize the last Son of Krypton and make him more likeable. Who else can be completely unrecognizable by simply throwing on some specs and parting his hair on the other side? That’s a super power all by itself! All signs indicate that Superman will be around for decades to come and will continue refusing to kneel before Zod.

3. Batman
Holy 3rd Place Ranking, Robin! From Adam West to Christian Bale, there have certainly been a lot of different twists on the Caped Crusader and many men to wear the cowl. With no actual Super Powers, Batman has long been the everyman’s super hero. Of course every man is not a multi-millionaire with a batcave, but that is neither here nor there. The Tim Burton directed movies with Michael Keaton did wonders for bringing Batman to a new generation and helped to diminish the campiness of the West TV Series. Of course the frozen Governator helped return the campy feel and kill the series for a few years shortly afterward. Batman is simply cool. He’s dark and brooding and has a neat tool belt. He has a butler. How many people really have both a butler and a batcave? I can only think of one.

2. Ash
I know what you are thinking. Ash was not a superhero. He has no superpowers. However, I think we did just establish that batman has no actual superpowers. And Ash certainly has done plenty to fight the armies of darkness both in films and in video games. And like Batman, he has iconic tools that he uses in his ongoing struggle. There is the chainsaw to replace the missing hand, the shotgun, the chin, the knowledge of Chemistry 101, and the best delivered one-liners of all time. Ash has long been the only thing standing between us common folk and legions of undead soul sucking demon zombies. Hail to the king, baby. Hail to the king.

1. Spider Man
All time greatest Super Hero. Science has spoken. Spider Man has been kicking villain tail and throwing down witty banter since the 60’s. There were multiple terrible films and plenty of cartoons made before Sam Raimi finally gave the webslinger his due in 2002. Spidey proved to be gold at the box office as well as on the newstand. He has had multiple titles and spin offs going in the comic book world for almost half a century and set a new prototype for heroes. He was among the first to be an ordinary person who had ordinary problems. He dealt with guilt and financial woes. He had relationship problems and struggled to make good decisions. He was one of the first really human superheroes. With another film in the works, Spider-Man is showing no signs of slowing down and should continue in the #1 slot for the foreseeable future. And remember kids, with great power comes great responsibility.

2 comments:

  1. I am not shocked at all that Ash made it into your top 10

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  2. I loved Spiderman and His Amazing Friends! I stumbled across an old comic with Spiderman, Firestar and Iceman set in Dallas that had been in a toybox since I was a kid! Nice list. I would argue over some particulars, however I have battled science before and lost.

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